The year draws to an end and it’s a good time to reflect about the year almost past, the good things and the bad things.
Quitting
End of last year I threw a project for the first time, ever. I have been contemplating about giving up, being weak, not following through and all the negative feelings that pop up in your head. Failure is such a bad feeling.
But I remembered that you have to pick your battles wisely. I came to the conclusion that the positive effects, the learnings and benefits, did not outweigh the price, the toll on family and friends and possibly on myself, my mood, the spiritual me. I did not believe in the project, it did not have the values I live, stand and fight for. I firmly believe I did the right thing. Quitting seems easy but it’s not.
I made use of the EAP service, my family assisted and my employer was supportive. I would have rather quit my job instead of continuing with the project.
Lessons were still learnt by it – so all in all, it was a good experience and a good test.
The weather
Then came the bad weather, the cyclone and the floods with months of rain, summer was non-existent. Many friends were affected, we suffered damage to the house as well. We fixed, repaired and rebuilt, better than before. However, anyone that I spoke too was rather gloomy and down. No sun for months can have quite an impact on your mental wellbeing. No summer BBQ’s and hardly any activities.
I started the walk-in for my so much looked-forward-to hunting trip on the 2nd of January with nice and warm weather. After I reached the hut, it started to rain and it still did the next morning. A check of the weather forecast suggested to rather walk out and home before the rivers would turn impassable and so I did. That was my summer holiday #1. #2 a few weeks later turned out similar, just that it never even started as it was still raining.
February was more exciting than needed.
Our area was badly affected by slips with roads and houses disappearing. Muriwai just down from us was affected the worst with toll on lives, properties, infrastructure and mental health. A reminder by nature that climate change is happening, at least to me it is. What the lessens learnt from that I cannot say yet. Time will tell.
The animals
The bad weather did not only affect the people but also the animals. Our pony Shady did not cope with the weather at all. His cancer ridden and Cushing’s disease affected body would not tolerate the weather. He peacefully passed away in the middle of friends and family on 27 March. Fly free ‘The Real Slim Shady’.
Our much loved cat Ziggy got sick shortly after the storm in February and refused to eat. When we got her into our trusty local vet, she was diagnosed with renal failure. She would get better and worse on and off over several weeks and was admitted to the vet a few times.
The most devastating day of the year was when we made the decision to end her suffering and pain on 18 April. Her beautiful soul left her broken body behind.
We will be missing you, beautiful girl.
On the other hand, this year 2 new critters were added to the mix and they are real fun. Our now four goats are real characters, pretty noisy, too. The two new ladies are real calm and cuddly, plus they give milk that Tatjana turns into amazing cheese. Not a fan of the milk though.
The economy
We had a tough year, workwise, economy wise and politically, we had elections. Interest rates are high, food got even more expensive. Various food items don’t seem to be imported any more, some due to the Ukraine war, some due to Covid. Maybe there are other reasons, too.
Not much of payrise there was for anyone, but food got more expensive and mortgage repayments went up. Let’s hope interest rates will come down again, soon.
The people
Despite of many challenges, the people in our family did well. My son keeps excelling at his vet studies and I am immensely proud of him. I should tell him more often. We had some arguments over little things and I opted to seek some counselling advise to address some of my personal challenges, the traits I am not proud of. Everyone has personal challenges and I keep telling my kids that counselling cannot hurt and it does not. So I am walking the talk and that’s how it should be. I have promised myself to be more conscious of my behaviour and words.
My daughter has finished with intermediate school and is moving on to college. She is doing well, in subjects I would have never expected her to be good at, like math and science. Her plans are to study vet as well and find a cure for renal failure in cats. Ziggy’s death left scars in her too but at the same time gave her ambition. I am very proud of her.
My wife continues to pursue her springboard and platform diving. She has a great team of likeminded people in a healthy sports environment and does well. Her riding injury from a few years ago is not holding her back, but was actually a driver for her. It’s great to see that negative experience can have a positive effect on you.
I can say that, looking at all of us, we have successfully managed to turn failures and negative experiences into the positive. I believe that crisis is not negative but a change to analyse, rethink and reorientate, learn from it and grow stronger.
I talked about my professional challenges at the start. Quitting has a negative taste to the word. However, as I said, you have to pick your battles and calculate the price (toll), not just on you. It’s rarely just you but your family need to deal with you and so do your friends.
There are friends I have not seen in a year as they battle with their own issues and challenges the last few years of covid and inflation brough for them, their business and their families.
Would love to see some of them again for a coffee, a yarn or a good hunt. Not giving up on them.
Talking about hunting, 2023 was slow on the hunting, one of my hobbies. Saw a few deer, but found my equipment not properly set up. That is now finally sorted but took some time and effort. So from that perspective I am looking forward to 2024 and my getaway to Queenstown in January. May Artemis be with me.
So here we are, looking at 2024 with the belief that we can master anything the year may bring.
Bring on the challenges, 2024. It won’t always be easy, there may be hard work, there may be tears but we will grow stronger together.
Kia kaha
(This post was also published on LinkedIn)
#2023year #2023events #mentalhealth #family